As an intellectual exercise “imposter syndrome” is something I can nod hard at and pretend I am ignoring, but the truth is that I’m never certain that anything I write is worth a damn. Lately, I think less and less of the words I manage to arrange into sentences and wonder if I should even be bothering. I mean — I’ve got two shorts that simple ARE NOT RIGHT and I can’t find the “in” to fix them. It’s exhausting.
It took 40 years for me to share any of my stories with more than a couple people (you know who you are) and despite having 3 published novels, I’ve spent FAR FAR FAR more than I’ve made trying to do this thing, and my ability to do reasonable advertising has been hampered from the very beginning. Is any of this worth it? Some days I just don’t know.
All this is to say that while I’m slugging away at the last book in the series and I am very worried that I will disappoint my readers. Honestly, that’s the definition of writer’s block — the fear you’re not good enough to tell the story that needs telling.
So here I sit. (This is probably TMI) I’m not looking for pats on the head and such, just stating things I think a lot of writers feel, some days more deeply than others. And today I am feeling them all. Times are tough, humans. Be kind to each other.